i just happen to like apples

How are you doing today?

Please stop back by as you are able, to support your fellow members.

Is it possible to be pregnant 8 weeks, and for the pregnancy test to still show negative?

so, i think i have lost the ability to write. i am not sure, because obviously, i am writing just now. but really, i feel sort of disconnected from my emotions a bit. i feel like a bunny wanting to seek shelter and safety in the chest of my hairy man-beast, Wes. i am still alone in my apartment, and he stays with me some nights. but tonight, for example, he had to go to his place and stay. it bums me out.

i am on a lot of medication. i don't like this one bit. a lot for me is my multi-vitamin, two calcium tablets, a geodon, wellbutrin, hctz and norvasc. [the last two for blood pressure] i feel like a stupid old fucking lady. i hate pills. if i thought i could make it without going crazy, i'd probably stop at least two of them.

i am addicted to Smart Water because it really is the best water i have had, like, ever. oh yes, emotions... i think i was about to actually talk about emotions, but then i got side tracked by drinking my water. anyway. yeah. i am dulled by the 300mg of wellbutrin. the geodon probably doesn't help. i refuse to look at side effects any more because i just give myself panic attacks and become hyper-vigilant of slight issues that are probably nothing anyway. bleh.

i am making art and moving to a bigger studio. i am meeting with important people from fort smith this saturday and i am really just kind of pouring over work these days, wondering what to do next. i am not sure where my art is taking me. i seem to be back to the basics of not serious/ironic/humorous work, while coupling most things with a sort of bizarre darkness.

i feel eerie. actually, that song "sometimes i give myself the creeps" is really making me connect to it, which makes me mad since i don't particularly like anything green day did. like, nothing. but anyway, i give myself the creeps- TOTALLY get that lately. i feel like i've been breaded and deep fried.

you know you have made a lot of art when you have folders that you don't even recall creating full of work. literally, FOLDERS full of work. what the eff, right? art is my therapy and sometimes it is just that. therapy. i go, i talk. it talks back. i forget it and move on. forgetting is something i prefer to do. on most accounts. i forget to answer emails. i forget to write notes down about important things. i forget i have meetings. i forget what day it is and who certain people are, even if i have seen them a million times.

throughout this hazy shade of gray that everything seems filtered by, i also keep wondering how in the fuck am i going to grow old? that is just some shit right there. it makes me afraid. so afraid that i can't hardly think about it without getting sick to my stomach.

cyndi lauper is 56.
life is so lame and depressing and screwed up.

life is a bitter refuge from an even more bitter, inevitable death.

( ...and a quick cucumber salad. )

I think my subject line covers it. I asked my friend to come pick me up after I get my IUD inserted (because I'm taking some anti-anxiety medicine before hand and can't drive myself home) and she's wondering when to come pick me up.

Thanks, ya'll!

 Hi all! So I finally got my BlueCup late last week and my stubborn first post-IUD period seems to be starting, about a month over do. I've had spotting for the past 4 days which finally got heavy this afternoon, but once again tapering off to near nothing. Hmm...

Anyway, so because it seems as if I'm starting I would like to try using my menstrual cup. At the very least to catch the spotting fluids I've been having that has ruined several pairs of panties. I've been looking up videos on how to do folds and insert the cup properly. Are there any tips on inserting the cup with the IUD? What should I do with the strings? How should I insert it? What should I do upon removal? 

I've already used a couple tampons with no problems so I'm hoping the cup goes the same way. Any IUD users out their with their input would be much appreciated. Thanks! 

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

I don't know if this belongs here or not, but I am absolutely desperate for help to solve this affliction I have - so if anyone can point me in the direction of a community that might know or can help me themselves, I would so appreciate it. :(

I switched deodorants, and clearly .. something about that did not sit well with me.

 

( Picture Under the Cut - potentially NSFW )The area under my left armpit has become white, scaly/flaky, painful and itchy. I don't know why or how to fix it - I heard it might be a yeast infection? But I can't find any pictures similar to what's wrong and I'm near to tears over it - it's just gotten progressively worse. And of course I'm on a college campus so medical health that doesn't suck is a bit hard to find ... so any help would be so much appreciated. :( I am in pain.

ETA: Is it possible that it could be psoriasis? It's red and has scales and is itchy and red and inflamed. If it is, what can I do? :(

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

i bought some melatonin today to help with my sleep problems (i tend to stay up later and later unless i have a reason to go to bed, and i sort of blame this on working third shift for 6 months a while ago). i've been reading the sleep issues tag, but do you have any other general tips or anything to give me? how much to take, when to take it, anything like that.

The Guardian's Gary Nunn gets it right:

There's a notable lack of funded robust research on modern attitudes towards bisexuality – reinforcing the invisible and undesirable status it suffers from. But like many stereotypes, it's possible to detect the characteristics that form the multiple-discriminations against bisexual people. And they're as specific as they are damning, coming from both gay and straight people.</p>

General unpleasant – and unproven – stereotypes tend to depict bisexual people as greedy, selfish, indecisive, attention-seeking, incapable of fulfillment, shallow, fickle, trend-followers, unreliable, dishonest, untrustworthy, anti-monogamy or just plain odd.

Bi-phobic stereotypes are expressed by some gay people too. This is shocking, given that you might reasonably expect gay people to appreciate the effect of bigotry and empathise. Bisexuality is sometimes referred to as a halfway house – a temporary holding sexuality on the way to homosexuality – suggesting bisexual people are confused or in denial. Other bi-phobic gay people claim bisexual people aren't seen to pay their dues to the gay community, but reap the benefits of equality campaigning when they decide to enter a same-sex relationship. They're therefore sometimes excluded from the gay community, but also not trusted by potential opposite-sex partners.

There's a lot more really good stuff there.

My gyno says I don't need to have a period because it's so painful and miserable, so she has recommended me stacking my BC pills.  Does anyone else do this?  Have you found you have breakthrough bleeding?  How long does it last and does it taper off after awhile?

...So my rommate is getting hired to be a stripper at the local club called "Lipstick"....we have a LOT of adult clubs here in SE Houston/Clear Lake area, and I was just thinking...they should have BBW adult clubs. Ther's gotta be a market of guys & ladies that love to see lovely ladies with more curves...I totally would work at one! The attention would give my confidence a boost!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

this isnt really 'vagina' related but it is sexual health related and i really need  some help!

i was having sex with my boyfriend and all of a sudden i just got a huge headache, it was really bad. my neck got stiff and i was shaking. he got really worried and concerned and i didnt know what to think. the next day i was feeling abit better, i desided to give my boyfriend a blow job,but a few minutes into it i got the headache again, really bad again like! except less shaking.

i dont know, ive heard of anything like this? so opinions anyone? id really appreciate some input!

I'm pretty sure I already know the answers to my own questions, but I just wanted to double make sure...

I'm taking Ortho Tricyclen Lo and never had a problem with breakthrough bleeding. This last month I tried to skip my period by taking two packs at once: Two weeks of the first colored pill, two more weeks of the next colored pill, etc. I started light to moderate spotting around the week I should've been taking my placebos, and it continued on for the entire three weeks it took to finish my packs. My withdrawal bleeding during the placebo week was normal.

Learning my lesson, I started taking my pills like normal. The first week of pills was fine... and now I have that annoying spotting again! Is it just my body trying to readjust to its rhythm I messed up or am I going to bleed to death? (Well okay... I know I'm not going to bleed to death. But should I stop taking my BC pills now until my body chills out or finish the pack?)

Thanks!

I want to purchase a green donna but the website they link to purchase it is down as well as their link to contact them, I was wondering if anyone had their email on hand?
Thanks! 

I feel like the biggest ditz for not knowing this but oh well.

Is it possible to have your period but still NOT ovulate?

Just a little question. I've been on Cerazette for about 9 months, so I don't get periods at all. Before that I was on Yasmin for a few years. In between I had a break of about 6 months where I just had my 'regular' cycle. I noticed that every time I had my period, the blood looked really different from before. It looked really grainy, I guess as if there were lots of tiny specks of dried blood (not clots). Is this normal or should I worry?